Friday 13th

Why would we welcome you Gandalf? Lathspell I name you.Ill news is ill guest they say.

I must be having the most severe case of inferiority complex ever so far. With a lousy score for PW, sucky bowling score that does not seemed to have improved, the group of juniors that hardly respect me, physical fitness level that seems to lag behind everyone else, it is extremely difficult for me to keep a rational mind right now. I even seem to be losing my grip on academic subjects.

To my PW group, I would just like to say firstly that I am blaming none of you for my lousy score. You all must be pretty disappointed too(with the exception of the disarmingly tall person, who must be congratulating himself for surviving the wreakage with good luck). It is as much my fault as the initial leader as it is yours. Though I would to say that group work on such subjects definitely does not seem like the forte for you all. I sincerely plead you all, and the rest of the class to participate more in the contribution of ideas. Many of you all are smart people, and might have lots of interesting ideas, but are just unwilling to speak up just because the rest of the class dun wan to speak up.I'm to blame for most stuff, because you all are so silent I cannot be more vociferous than necessary for fear that you all think I smart aleck or sumthing. Definitely not leading by example.

To my little crew of juniors, it is my fault that I am earning so little respect? I never wanted to be SL in the first place. I was elected just so that the section would not die out. I did not even join chess club in the first place because I possess otherworldly skills. I joined chess club because I think I enjoy chess as a leisure game. I did not expect to play at such a competitive level to the point that it is sometimes stressful. Of course, the rest of the people think I am having a super easy cca. In terms of time spent, yes, but I think the mental effort I spent each session is about as draining as a physics olympiad training session.

Am I like speaking in Greek or something? Because I think when I am just explaining what is the most rational thing to do, it looks everyone is looking at me like as if I am the irrational one. Erm..perhaps I should just pipe down next time.

Garh, I dun seem to improve in anything I do, even if i improve, its like a slow crawl upwards. Chess skills, bowling, pool, dota, academic..it takes such a long time for me to improve anything. Diminishing marginal returns? Wow, I am not even near the limit yet..