Memories.. Hand of fate

The girl is the only one in the world. That made her the god of this world. She found herself on an island when she began to understand things around her.

There was a mansion on the island, which was connected to an old castle by a passageway. She did not know why for what purpose those structures which completely seemed to be unfit in the environment were built there. She did not need to know why. And besides, the girl never wondered why she had been there before she realize. There were a huge amount of preserved foods and daily necessaries inside the warehouse of the castle, so she did not have to starve (although she was hungry until she realized these were eatable). But she almost died several times because of sickness and injuries. In most cases, she almost got herself killed by eating either spoiled food or plants and inorganic things around her.

She used the mansion as a residential area, and almost never set her foot in the old castle. There was no particular reason to draw a line between the two structures. It was only a rational judgment that the old castle was unfit for her to live there. She had nothing to do. The island was small, and one could go around it in half a day by foot. All she could see at the beach was the ocean, the sky, clouds and the horizon stretching as far as she could see in a 360-degree view.That was the everything the world offered.

There were tons of books which she could not finish reading even if she spent her enitire life. The contained everything in this world. The stories written in the books were all about people. People cannot live alone. There were many books with that written in them. However, the girl was alone. She lived by herself. Laughing, crying, things that were previously of value, none of them were needed. They were irrelevant. They were redundant.

The girl was the first average person in human history. The average of the statistics is exactly the sum of herself. That is why everything she does is correct. And at the same time, everything could be wrong. After all, the girl is the only one in the world. That made her the god of her world.

One day, the girl tried to light a fiew on the beach. Because there was an episode in a book about a person who lit a signal fiew after being stranded on an island. A white line rose up to the deep, blue sky. She thought, "What's this thing that's just like a cloud?" and put her face close to it. Her eyes and throat were hurt badly. She backed off in confusion and gazed at it from a distance. She understood it was useless. Likewise, she began to understand one thing after another. She understood what "understanding" meant.

The girl began to paint. Books, musical instruments, pictures. Amond those things, it was a tool most likely to create a human. But it did not go well. She got tired of it many times. Iy did not matter anway, even if she got tired of it. When the season changed, she had enough.

She finished the painting before long. She found out that she was more suited for drawing realistic scenes. As long as she was able to draw something that looked like it, it was fine. Something that did existed there. Drawing humans might be something hard to do. So she thought.

One day, she painted a human being. A boy. It was pretty good. So, she decided to add a figure of the boy into the paintings of landscapes she had painted. She put up those paintings in the same places where she painted them. There was not a single place on the island where she did not paint. The girl was with the boy everywhere. It meant that the girl and the boy looked at each other everytime she looked at the paintings. But the girl had no feeling of achievement. "Would it be a 'human'?" she thought. "No. This is a painting of a human being." He did not move. He did not think. He was simply there. "Lonely?" Finally, she could ask herself that question for she had discovered the word. She was not lonely.

The girl began to look at the painting a lot. When she stared at the boy in the painting, she had a strange feeling. "Lets marry." She somehow had that idea. In the books, there were an unusual number of stories relating to marriage. It was described as something important in people's life, She began to study the marriage system in detail. The girl married on the next day. She found a dress in the castle. She pretended to ask herself, "Do you vow to marry?" In her mind, she pretended to answer "Yes." And then she kissed the boy in the painting. It tasted like oil. She threw the flowers she had picked as a bouquet. She prepared a bigger meal than usual. It awas a party after all. But she had leftovers, because the dress was too tight around the hips. The girl tossed the bouquet, the dress and the leftovers to the bottom of the dump site and went to sleep. And thus the wedding ceremony was over.

The girl started drawing self portraits the day after the wedding ceremony. Even though she was married, there was no one except her in her world. That is why she put herself into the painting. The girl put herself in to all of the paintings. In that world beyond, the 2 of them were laughing together. Looking at herself in the paintings, she felt strange. The girl could not really understand that feeling. Nevertheless, it continued to attract the girl's interest.

Something mysterious happened. The two in those paintings had moved. The girl was not startled, for she had been trying to create humans from the beginning. "Did it work?" The god looked inside the paintings. The two in the pictures seemed to be having fun, smiling at each other. But the paintings were blurred. The world itself appeared blurred."Why", the girl thought. A strange feeling developed in her mind. She could not describe what it was. She wondered why the paintings became blurred, even though she painted them so clearly. The two in the paintings were smiling at each other. That was what she felt. She repainted them. Over and over again. But the results were exactly the same. She was at a loss. She began to be unsure of everything. The girl was the only one in the world, that made her the god of the world. So she thought she should make her world much cleaner.

She burned all the pictures. She set fire to the mansion and the old castle. Along with the structures, she burned all her memories. Lastly, the god threw the thrash, the only thrash left in the world, out from the cliff.