Toradora ep. 21

Cliffhanger.. Ok this episode's pace is fast, events moving rapidly, yet drawing the tension out, as you just need to see what happens in the next second. It seems that Minorin continues to pretend as if nothing has happened, and once again disappeared behind that mask of cheeriness. Taiga tries her best to pull them together, all the while trying extremely hard to suppress her feelings for Ryuuji, which appears to be no longer with Kitamura any more. The story goes on on this beautiful winter skiing vacation. The guys finds out about Ryuuji's crush, and rejection and decides to barge into the girls' room for an explanation. Unfortunately for them, the room was empty. Taiga suddenly appears, and knowing how awkward the situation would look(Imagine 3 guys in a girls room rifling through their clothes and belongings.. T.T), they quickly hid themselves into the cupboard. And thus, they switched from barging into the room openly, to apparently sneaking around. One of guys makes a noise, and Taiga was about investigate, when suddenly more girls appear. OO.. More complications.. Ryuuji hurriedly pulls Taiga into the cupboard(3 guys and 1 girl squished into a small cupboard.. gg), and prevents her from screaming. It appears that among the incoming girls, were Ami, and Minori. The discussion soon reaches reaches the rejection of Ryuuji by Minori. Perhaps Ami purposely did it, to find out where Minori stood about this matter, or perhaps she just wanted to spite her, being jealous of her. Either way, Ami provoked Minori. Next day, a fight ensued between the 2 of them over this small matter. Once again, the Ami did the provoking again, whether out of petty spite, or intentionally, to force Minori to show her hand. Their fight had one unexpected consequence; the hair clip that Ryuuji originally tried to give to Minori, fell out. Taiga went down a steep snow slope to save it, unnoticed by others. So when her missing presence was finally felt, it was too late, for a snowstorm was coming. That's when the episode plot climaxed. Ryuuji went to find Taiga, realises that she was actually after the hair clip, and saw that she fell and hurt herself badly. He curses himself for straying from her side, and allowing her to get hurt(again!), and bends over to pick her up. Taiga thought it was Kitmura saving her, and in her delirium, confessed that she couldn't stop feeling for Ryuuji. (!!!!) Yea, then the episode ended.

Minori probably thought she was doing a good deed when she rejected Ryuuji. She knew that Taiga would ultimately like Ryuuji, and thought she shouldn't be so selfish. Yet the best of intentions bought so much unforeseen pain. Ryuuji dejected and confused, Taiga confused and in pain, Ami jealousy and melancholy that she cannot do more than watch the strange relationship going on between the 2 girls and 1 guy. Despite all this, we cannot say whether her choice was a wrong one. For even if she had accepted Ryuuji's feelings, it would have still brought pain for Taiga, and jealousy from Ami. Ryuuji himself may think he likes Minori, but he has been caring for Taiga for a pretty long period, ultimately, it will still create confusion for him. Who are we to say which is the best intention? We cannot even judge whether the choices are good or bad. Indeed, there is no good or bad, only our personal opinion of it. And everybody's opinion on it differs to different extents. Every choice leads to a set of consequences, desirable ones and undesirable ones. Everyone's concept of which is a desirable consequence differs too.

Knowing the concept of the meaningless of right and wrong, have caused me to agree with everyone and disagree with everyone. It is tiring to put on a different mask for every single person. It is no longer tiring, I have become numb and skilled at it.

Interactions are the color of this world, but I seem to missing in color from this world. Too long I have observed and watched, not participating, recognising it as a trap. A trap of misery that all humans walked themselves into. People bring themselves happiness, at the same time, walk themselves into misery. I seem to be keeping away from both, hence lacking that color of the world. The curse of knowledge perhaps.

I await episode 22 with great interest and impatience.